


Christmas Trouble

by Luisa_he



Series: Troubles of the Heart [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luisa_he/pseuds/Luisa_he
Summary: After finally finding each other, Steve and Bucky spend their first Christmas together with Sarah. They have a lovely Christmas tree, exchange presents and discover a truth.**This story is the first sequel to A Little Trouble Goes A Long Way, which you don't have to read to enjoy this, but I would suggest you give it a look so you have the context :)Merry Christmas, everyone.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Troubles of the Heart [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567195
Comments: 21
Kudos: 50





	1. Bucky's Little Elves

Helping Sarah open the tenth door on her advent calendar, Bucky noticed how fast Christmas was approaching. It would be his first Christmas in over seventy years and he looked forward to spending it with Steve and Sarah, the people he loved most. 

And he still had no presents. 

Steve had assured him that he didn’t have to get anything because the adults agreed on not going through all that trouble anymore. With infrequent missions they all had enough to worry about and would instead spend the second day of Christmas together if they could. They only would get Sarah something that would make her happy.

Bucky and Steve had opted for a sleigh. It was hidden in their closet and with New York already being snowed in, he looked forward to the time they would spend outside with her. 

When the first snow had surprised them a week ago it had been a hard fight with himself not to get Sarah all bundled up in her puffy winter coat and go on a sleigh ride with her. Her cheeks and nose would turn red and she would look adorable with her eyes sparkling from happiness. He just knew it. 

But Bucky had to wait until after Christmas for at least the sleigh part. Because right now they were at an overflowing shopping mall, choosing a tree. 

Or more like: Bucky carried and amazed Sarah around in his arms (not that he minded, he loved his  _ daughter _ ) while Steve lead them through the tree yard. They waited for Sarah to settle on pointing out one specific tree, but so far they had no luck. 

Sarah was more fascinated by the Christmas decoration that lit up the streets and all the sweet talking of the world couldn’t get her to focus her attention on an undecorated tree. 

“Doll, if you choose one we can get it home and decorate it. Then you’ll have your own pretty Christmas tree.” 

But no, she much rather wanted to go look at the decorated ones. 

“How about a hot chocolate break?” Steve asked, taking Bucky’s hand back in his with a smile. 

Bucky grinned. Even after five months he still couldn’t believe that Steve was his and that he could hold his hand whenever he wanted. Just like that, no questions asked. 

It was a dream come true he didn’t even know he had. 

Cold fingers entwined they strolled through the market of small booths that popped up around Christmas and sold all things that made the season what it was. There were stands that sold food and others that had pretty ornaments. 

They had to keep Sarah away from those because, according to Steve, they already had too many decorations from last year to fit in their apartment and Sarah wanted more - everything that sparkled, to be precise. 

Bucky tried to distract her with a possible visit with Santa (she didn’t quite get the concept though) and other little booths but nothing held her interest very long. So while Steve went to fetch hot chocolate for the three of them, Bucky ended up buying a little golden sleigh ornament for their tree, hoping that it fit in with the rest Steve already had. 

Sarah was busy playing with her new little sleigh while they waited for Steve at one of the tables that were set up all around the makeshift market. From where he stood, Bucky could see the ice rink and watched the couples dance around each other. 

Could be fun, trying this with Steve. 

When they had been younger, there was no way in hell he would have let Steve near ice - one wrong move and he would have had the pneumonia that might finally kill him. The closest they came to ice skating had been to slide across frozen puddles. 

But now, with Steve not getting sick anymore it could be fun. Bucky could act as if he had no idea what to do, fall all over Steve’s arms- 

“Watcha lookin’ at?” the star of his daydreams asked, suddenly next to him, balancing two big and one very small mug of hot chocolate. Steve places them on the table next to them before he kissed Sarah on her nose (she always giggles when he does that) and leaned in to kiss Bucky on the lips. 

When they part Sarah giggled and pated Bucky’s cheek. “Papa, kiss me!” she told him and Bucky, who already knows the spiel so he plants a loud and wet kiss on her cheek to make her laugh. 

Steve watched them with a smile before he handed Sarah the little mug of hot chocolate. “Here you go, princess.” 

“Thanks, daddy.” 

Polite like her dad, Bucky thought with a smile of his own before he reached for his cup. 

The chocolate was sweet and warmed him from the inside. Not that he had been particularly cold - both he and Steve could withstand arctic temperatures as the past had shown - it was just that he hated being cold. So he always sought out Steve’s body heat or had a blanket wrapped around his feet. 

“So, what had you staring,” Steve asked again, his words forming little clouds in the cold air. 

“Oh, I was just thinking how we never went ice skating when we were younger.” 

Steve’s eyes widened in surprise. “I didn’t know you wanted to.” 

“Might have, don’t know,” he answers with a shrug. “But it’s not like I would have let you near ice back then,” Bucky added with a grin, waiting for Steve to roll his eyes like he always does when he thinks Bucky worries too much about him.

When he does, it’s with a smile that paints little wrinkles into the corners of his eyes. “Well, I’m not going to die from it now.” 

Bucky laughed. “I know, punk. But now we have this one here,” he planted another quick kiss on Sarah’s head, “and we can’t exactly have her waiting here while we go, making out on skates.”

“Oh, so that’s what this is about,” Steve said with a smirk, licking a drop of hot chocolate from his pink lips. “You hoping I’ll need you to teach me?” 

“Actually I thought I’d get you to teach me,” he replied. 

“That so?” Steve leaned in closer, his free hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

Bucky shrugged. “Well, I thought I could act all helpless so you would have to catch me if I fall.”

“Ah, Buck.” Steve’s hand slipped under Bucky’s open pea coat to draw him in closer. “I will always catch you when you fall.” He leaned in for a kiss and when their lips met, everything around them seemed to slow down. 

It was always like that, at least for Bucky. When he is as close to Steve as he is now, basking in his presence, a little bubble forms around them, keeping them safe from the outside world. Inside it is warm and cozy, and Bucky never wants to leave. 

The only other person allowed inside this bubble is, of course, Sarah. 

Evenings spent with them on the couch are his favourite and now around Christmas time, everything had this homey, romantic touch. It made him want to stay inside the bubble even longer, cuddled flush against Steve’s side and with Sarah in his arms. 

The scenery here, in between the little Christmas stalls, was nearly just as perfect. With the snow and the light giving everything a warm glow and the christmas music playing softly in the background it could have been a scene out of the cheesy Christmas movies they liked to watch. 

At least until they were interrupted by an insistent toddler. “Daddy. Papa!” 

With a chuckle Steve shifted away from Bucky and focused on his daughter. “Want to tell me what you got there, princess?” 

Sarah launched into a lengthy speech about her new Christmas ornament and Bucky took the chance to take in Steve. 

_ His Steve _ , he thought with a smile. 

He looked so sophisticated now, with his Timberland boots, navy pea coat, a soft, knitted sweater and scarf. Steve’s leather gloves sat on the table so he could warm his fingers on the hot chocolate. His cheeks and nose were pink from the cold air, his hair ruffled from running his fingers through it ever so often and his eyes sparkled listening to the ramblings of his daughter. 

Steve was beautiful but then again Bucky had thought so when he had been fifteen already. 

Sarah was still chattering when they finished their drinks. 

“Want to go get that tree?” Bucky asked, question mostly directed at the little one in his arms. “So we can decorate it and you can find the perfect spot for your sleigh?” 

With this reasoning they were able to get back into the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree, even if it meant both Steve and Sarah were overeager. It would have been frustrating, being with two perfectionists, but when Steve took his hand, his warmth seeping through the two layers of gloves, Bucky knew that he was very lucky and that he would gladly freeze another seventy years to be here. 

* * *

They eventually found a tree and took it home. 

Sarah and Steve had insisted on examining every single tree in the yard at least twice, and the ones they liked even more often. It took them nearly two hours and with how much fun they had, Bucky promised himself that next year they would go to cut their own tree. He longed to see Steve and Sarah running around in the snow and then, of course, Steve with an axe, chopping wood. 

Clint had given them a truck (left it at the tower for them to pick up), since neither of them had a car and it would have been strange to carry a tree around Brooklyn even if they could. Bucky was to return it when they were finished. 

Before they left in the early afternoon, Bucky and Steve had cleared a corner of the living room for the tree where they put it now under the watchful eye of their daughter. 

Sarah sat on the couch with a cup of tea and a blanket wrapped around her legs, Bucky Bear to her left. “No, the other side,” she told them and for the fifth time they turned the tree just slightly. It went on for another few minutes until she was satisfied. 

With quick kisses to both Steve and Sarah, Bucky made his way to the door, keys in hand. Looking back at the tree he realised again that he still had no idea what to get Steve for Christmas. 

With a silent groan he went outside. This meant he would have to go shopping again. 

* * *

Clint greeted him in the garage of Avengers’ Tower. He had brought Laura and the kids for the week to enjoy a bit of New York Christmas and it fit well with Bucky’s plans.

“Hey man, how’s the tree?” he asked once Bucky exited the truck. 

Bucky rolled his eyes while he handed over the keys. “Overall it took them three hours to decide on one so they better like it.”

Clint nodded in sympathy. “I get that. Our kids are the same. ‘It  _ has _ to be perfect, dad’,” he added in a tone that sounded suspiciously like Layla. 

They chatted a bit until the topic of presents came up again. 

“So, what did you get Laura?” Bucky asked, hoping for some inspiration. 

Clint’s eyes lit up in excitement. “There’s this thing she wanted for the farm but couldn’t find online exactly the way she wanted. So for the past year I’ve been taking notes and slipping out into the barn to make it myself.”

“That why you show up here with scraped fingers all the time?” Bucky asked and the blush that took over Clint’s cheeks said enough. 

“What will you get Steve?”

Bucky sighed. He should have seen that coming. “I’ve no idea. Somehow it was easier in the forties when we couldn’t afford anything and I just worked double shifts to get a Christmas feast together” 

With a friendly pat on the back Clint said “Well, it’s more about spending time with your little family anyway. So pick something that reminds you of him and he will love it.”

“Thanks man.” Bucky leaned in for a quick hug (Clint was the one who usually insisted and Bucky had made a lot of progress in accepting it during the last couple of months) before he went outside. 

He already walked two blocks towards Brooklyn, hoping that he would find a present if just roamed the streets long enough, when he had an idea and turned back. 

“Good evening, sergeant,” Jarvis’ bodiless voice greeted him. “What can I do for you today?”

“Hey, Jarvis. Can you take me to Tony?” The elevator took off without another word from the AI and within minutes Bucky found himself in Tony’s workshop. 

“Buckaroo. What’s up? How’s the arm?” 

Bucky had a strange relationship with the engineer. When he remembered what had happened with Howard and Maria, he immediately went to apologise for it. He had cried a lot to be honest, not able to tell himself this time that the people he saw in his dreams maybe deserved it. He knew Howard, remembered him from back in the day, and while he may have been a bit strange, he had been a good man. 

Tony had been angry but over the last two months they worked through their issues while Bucky sat on Tony’s workbench, letting him tinker with his arm to make it up. 

“Hey Tony, I just wanted to ask if you know what I could get Steve for Christmas?” 

While he hadn’t looked up from his work before, Tony now let everything drop and looked at Bucky, eyes wide. “Christmas?” 

“Yeah, you know, the thing with trees and lights and presents. Usually happens in December, which we have now,” Bucky explained, not in the slightest surprised that Tony had forgotten. It was just how he was, especially when he had a project to keep his mind occupied. 

With a curse he fished out his phone. “I totally forgot to get Pepper something. Why did I think it was a good idea to fall in love with my PA? Who am I supposed to ask now what my girlfriend would like for Christmas?” His eyes darted upwards to Bucky. “Do you have any idea what Pepper would like?”

“Barton said it’s about spending time together?” was the best answer Bucky could come up with. 

Tony only nodded, furiously typing something into his phone. 

“So, about Steve -” 

“Want me to build him something?” Tony asked, still focused on his phone. “I’m sure I could come up with something.”

Bucky sighed. He knew Tony meant well, but - “Wouldn’t that be a present from you to him then? Not that I don’t appreciate the thought.” 

Tony nodded again, gaze finally back at Bucky. “Yeah maybe you’re right. Let me think.” His eyes widened and Bucky already started to hope that maybe he actually had an idea. “Not that I know what you could get Cap for Christmas, but I had an idea about your arm. What if -” 

And with that he launched into a lengthy explanation about what he could do with Bucky’s arm if he would let him do more that just the necessary maintenance. 

It took him about half and hour to finish and only because Bucky told him he would think about it and that maybe they could do this in the new year. He was just about to leave when Tony called after him. 

“Capsicle is so in love with you that he’ll be happy with whatever you’ll get him.” 

It was a nice thought, Bucky agreed with a sigh, but it didn’t really help him fix his problem. 

He was just on the way out when he met Pepper in the hallway. She was dressed in her sharp business clothes as usual, but her gaze softened when she spotted him. 

“Bucky, good to see you,” she said and carefully kissed his cheek.

He appreciated that she wanted to show her affection but at the same time didn’t want to overwhelm him. 

“Is everything alright? Where you with Tony because of your arm?” She sounded worried and a little wrinkle appeared between her brows. 

“No, Pepper, I’m good, but you might actually be able to help me.” 

She nodded and lead him to one of the little seating areas that were spread through the tower (the one close to Tony’s lab was one of the most comfortable ones and Bucky suspected it was so that he could take random naps when he needed them). 

“Okay, so what can I do for you?” 

Bucky sighed and brushed a strand of hair back behind his ear to gain a few seconds. “I have no idea what to get Steve for christmas.” 

Pepper nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. “Well, is there anything you know he needs?”

“A sense of self-preservation, maybe?” Bucky snorted. “But I can’t really get him that.” 

With a grin Pepper nodded. “We knew he likes art. Is there anything he needs or wants in that department?”

Bucky slowly nodded. “That’s a good idea but I’m not sure. He has a thousand sketchbooks and he takes ages to choose the exact colour he needs for whatever he’s doing when we’re at the art store,” Bucky explained. What he left out was that he thought art supplies were a little impersonal for the relationship they had. 

And it was their first Christmas together after decades, and as lovers, nonetheless. 

With an understanding smile, Pepper seemed to think about it some more. “How about I see if I can find any art shows? Then you can gift him a romantic evening in the new year. We could take Sarah, if you like.”

It was the best idea so far, so Bucky nodded. “Thanks, Pepper, that would be great.” 

“Ah, it’s no problem. I get invitations to these things all the time and Tony’s not really interested. I’ll text you the details as soon as I have them.”

With that and another quick kiss to his cheek she disappeared into Tony’s workshop and Bucky made his way out of the tower for good this time. He even hailed a taxi to take him to Brooklyn. 

An art show and a romantic evening. It was better than nothing he guessed, but still not as personal as he had hoped. And he knew that Steve was a big sap and would most likely get him something that would make him cry because it was so sweet. 

If he only knew what Steve had planned then maybe… 

And idea came to his mind and he quickly reached for his phone. He didn’t have many contacts so he found the one he wanted quickly. 

“ _ Da _ ?” 

“Natalia,” he answered her greeting. 

“Yasha, what do you want?” she came directly to the point. 

With a sigh he did her the favour of being direct as well. “I need you to spy on Steve. I need to know what he’s getting me for Christmas so I can find something equally amazing.” 

On the other line, Nat laughed. “I’m not going to spy on your boyfriend, Yasha.” 

“But why not? I thought we were friends?” he teased her, knowing that she did it for Steve. 

“Okay, I don’t really have time right now but I want you to close your eyes,” she ordered. 

With a sigh Bucky did as she said and leaned against the backseat of the taxi. “Okay, eyes are closed,” he told her.

“Good,” Natalia answered, slightly out of breath. Where the hell was she? “Now think back to the time before you both were frozen. Maybe even before the war.” 

With a frown Bucky did as she said. There were over twenty years worth of memories he had no idea how to comb through. Especially since he wasn’t sure if he even remembered everything. 

“How were you before the entire Captain America thing?” she asked and Bucky smiled, remembering his scrawny best friend. 

“Well, Steve always -” 

“You don’t have to tell me, Yasha. It’s enough if you remember.”

So Bucky did. He tried to recall all the special memories they had made when they were younger, laughing and carefree. Before the war troubled their lives and eventually sent them here. All the times when Steve had been sick, the worst patient ever, Bucky at his side or taking care of him. 

“I think I have an idea,” he told Nat with a smile. It would take some sneaking around, but he was sure he could do it.

Natalia huffed out a laugh. “That’s great, Yasha. I’ll see you around Christmas but I gotta go now.” And with a click the line went dead. 

For a few seconds Bucky stared at his phone, wondering if she just had given him advice on relationship Christmas presents while on a mission. It would be super irresponsible but if someone he knew could multitask like that, it was the ballerina. 

He leaned forwards to the taxi driver. “Could you take me to the antique shop on Fulton street?” When the driver nodded he sat back again and eyed his phone. 

With the new idea in his head, he dialed another one of his sparse contacts. “Hey, Sam, listen, I need your help -” 


	2. Christmas Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 70 years the boys and Sarah get to spend their first family Christmas together, opening presents and sharing the love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This comes three months too late and I'm terribly sorry. My mental health is trapped in a steady downwards spiral ever since Christmas and I'm still not feeling that good again, but I guess writing this counts as self care. So I'm trying to finish this up and then share my other stuff with you as well. 
> 
> On another note: I hope all of you are well, not sick, and isolated with your loved-ones to keep you company.  
> So maybe reading about Christmas Love in March isn't the worst thing.

Christmas time was over in a blurr. 

Each day Bucky helped Sarah to open up the little doors on her advent calendar - which was pretty hard considering how flimsy the cardboard was compared to his large fingers. But the look in Sarah’s eyes when she eventually was allowed to eat the little chocolate after their joined breakfast definitely made his frustration worth it. 

Four days after they finally got their tree and decorated it, Steve came back from his morning run with a huge smile on his face. He barely managed to give Bucky and Sarah their respective good morning kisses before he couldn’t contain his excitement any longer. 

Sometimes he really was like a Golden Retriever. 

“Princess, do you want to make cookies for Santa today?” he asked, his eyes shining with glee while Bucky looked around the kitchen in panic. 

Cookies. With Sarah. 

Don’t get him wrong, he would do everything for his little girl (and when  _ he _ said that he would kill/die for her it’s not even mildly exaggerated) but all he could think about right then was the mess they were going to make. 

Little hands and flour were  _ not _ supposed to go together. 

“Santa!” the little one exclaimed with sparkling eyes, nearly knocking the tea in her sippy cup over. 

And with that the activity for the day was decided and all Bucky could do to voice his (slight) opposition was to shoot an annoyed look towards Steve. 

Who’s grin only widened, so there was that. 

They had tried to explain the concept of Santa to her earlier but with only minimal success. She somewhat understood the idea of presents and maybe even that they were for her (she loved getting new toys to play with, thank you, Tony) but how much farther it went they weren’t sure. When they went to shop a couple of days ago they took her to meet Santa at the mall and while she was fascinated by his beard, she had seemed a bit confused by all his questions. 

But she was two, so for her sake (or at least that was what Steve had told him when Bucky asked why they had to go through with all that Santa stuff) they were going to stick to the story. Bucky had even started a Pinterest board after Nat showed him how, with ideas on how to make ‘the magic’ last longer. 

So even though it was probably Steve’s excitement that made Sarah so giddy, she couldn’t get ready fast enough. 

Bucky sighed because with his request Steve had effectively distracted her from her breakfast. It took them several tries until she eventually finished chewing on her sliced apple. 

“I guess there’s no use in putting on fresh clothes if she’s going to help us bake?” Bucky asked with a smirk when he returned from brushing his teeth. 

Steve only grinned from where he was wiping down the counter. 

“Great.” 

Bucky was a master in seeming gloomy when he actually wasn’t. He was looking forward to the fun they would have trying to get Sarah to knead dough, use the cutters and maybe even to see Steve with flour in his hair. 

Steve knew as much. It had become apparent after a few months of living together that Bucky tried to balance out his overall sunny disposition (which returned suspiciously around the time Bucky did) with sarcasm. Therefore he wasn’t overly worried when he grabbed a chair and placed it next to the counter so Sarah could stand on it. 

There was even a little smile on Bucky’s lips when he stretched to get the flour. 

“Okay,” he put it down and wrapped an arm around Steve’s middle. “What are we making?”

Steve’s smile turned into a slight frown. “I thought about it a couple of times now and I think I remember how my mom used to make Christmas cookies.”

With that Bucky’s lifted so high, that he couldn’t even  _ fake _ being moody anymore. 

Sarah Rogers, just like the angel she was, made the best Christmas cookies of all of Brooklyn back in the day. It had been pure bliss when they were kids, inhaling this amazing scent on a random day after school. They were rarely allowed to eat any before Christmas so they used to sneak around, trying to make out where she hid them. Every year it was a different place and while they sometimes found them within a couple of minutes, Bucky vividly remembered years where they didn’t discover them at all because Sarah had been too clever for them. 

“Sarah Rogers’ Christmas cookies,” he mumbled and Sarah looked up at the mention of her name. He pressed a quick kiss to her hair before he turned to Steve. “Are you sure that you remember? When did she ever tell you?” 

“Her last Christmas.” 

“Oh.” 

Steve nodded, caught up in his thoughts for a while. He still barely talked about his mom in front of Bucky. He sometimes heard him talk about her to Sarah. 

Bucky understood, even if it made him terribly sad. He should be there for Steve, a shoulder to cry on, just like he was for him. But the love of his life was so focused on making sure that Bucky and Sarah were good that he often forgot to think about himself. 

Sarah II seemed to feel the change in the air, and with big eyes she pulled on the arm of Steve’s shirt to get his attention. When Steve eventually looked, she hugged his leg and asked for the cookies again. 

Sometimes Bucky was amazed how intuitive Sarah was in all those things. It wasn’t just now, but often when Bucky had a bad day she would be extra demanding for his attention as if she knew that he needed the distraction. 

She sometimes even woke him up from nightmares, as if she could sense them. It was a little unsettling.

But it worked on Steve like a charm and within seconds the mood was lighter again. Steve rattled down what he was sure he remembered from Sarah’s original recipe and Bucky employed the help of google to make sure that these things actually worked together. 

They even had all the ingredients at home, thanks to Steve’s cooking extravaganza. 

“Okay, princess, your grandma used to make them,” Steve explained while he measured everything into a large bowl. “The one who’s name was Sarah, too?”

“Grandma?” 

Bucky smiled while Steve was busy weighing the flour. “Yeah, we told you about her, remember?” 

She nodded, but Bucky wasn’t sure she actually did. So he began to tell the tale of Sarah Rogers again, until Steve’s mood had lightened and he could join. 

* * *

Bucky had been right; when they eventually put the cookies in the oven, the kitchen was a disaster. 

Sarah had so much fun rolling the dough and placing the cutters that she got overexcited. Her laughter blew the flour through the air, her little fingers pressed too hard into the dough and sent pieces of it to the floor and the rolling pin - well, Bucky was glad they had more than one laying around. 

While Sarah took her afternoon nap, Steve guarded the cookies in the oven and Bucky swept the floor. There was no use in cleaning properly. They wanted to decorate the cookies that day as well. 

It went just as smoothly as the cutting. But Sarah was happy and that was all that counted when they finally made it to bed that night. 

* * *

A few days later Bucky rose shortly after Steve left the apartment to go on his morning run. But instead of taking his shower and preparing breakfast like he usually did, he called Sam. 

“Barnes,” the other greated him, slightly out of breath. 

“Wilson.” As if Steve had returned, Bucky took a cautious look around. “I’m sorry to interrupt your run, but did you get it?” 

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, pal. I’ve got it. Natasha dropped by a couple of days ago on her way to Rio and helped me pull it off.”

“So, no trouble then?”

“Dude, the Black Widow in trouble? Never.” 

Bucky sighed in relief. That was good news. He had known that the odds of Sam, or Natasha for that matter, being caught were slim. But still, if no one knew, no one could come and take it away. 

“You know that stealing something is not the spirit of Christmas?”

Bucky grinned but headed to check on Sarah. “It’s Steve’s anyway. They should have given it back.”

Now it was Sam’s turn to sigh. 

“Can you send it? Steve would ask if I had to come and get them from you.” Their little one was still fast asleep, but he still kept his voice down.

“Already in the mail, pal,” Sam replied with another chuckle. “You know you owe me for this, right?” 

“Whatever, Willson.” Closing the door behind him with a faint ‘click’, Bucky made his way to the bathroom. “Merry Christmas, birdbrain.”

All he heard from Sam when he ended the call was laughter.

* * *

And Sam was right - the next day there was a letter in the mail addressed to him. Steve brought it with him after his morning run. He asked about it, but Bucky got lucky.

Sarah picked the moment to demand Steve’s attention and he was spared to lie to Steve. 

Now, he only needed to wrap his presents and hide them away from Steve’s curious personality until Christmas day. 

* * *

When Bucky woke up on Christmas morning, more snow had fallen. He shamelessly used it to convince Steve to skip his morning run (seriously, who wanted to run in freezing weather anyway?) and stay in bed with him a little longer. Cuddled up too Steve’s warm chest, they listened to the snow-muffled sounds of Brooklyn’s streets together and waited for Sarah to wake up. 

Steve had told him how last year, she hadn’t really grasped the concept of Christmas, unwrapping presents and celebrating. Which was obvious, because she had been eight months back then. 

Maybe this year she would understand and that would mean that they could celebrate her first real Christmas together. 

As a family. 

But for now he could enjoy how Steve’s body fit right next to him as if they were two pieces of a puzzle. 

“Merry Christmas, Stevie,” he muttered, eyes still closed and cuddled closer. 

Steve hummed and wrapped his arms a little tighter around Bucky. “Merry Christmas, Buck.” 

Bucky wanted a kiss but ultimately he decided against it; for a kiss he would have to move away from his warm spot. He could always get one later when they were up. 

“Wanna get up?” Steve asked, as if he read his mind. 

Instead of an answer Bucky only buried his face deeper into the crook of Steve’s neck. It made it a bit hard to breathe but it smelled so wonderfully of sleepy Steve so who was he to care? 

Christmas Eve had been great and Bucky had to smile at the thought of it. Clint, who was a genius when it came to merchandise, had discovered Captain America onesies - for adults as well as babies. He had sent the link weeks ago and Bucky had ordered them as a joke. 

The look of pure joy in Steve’s eyes when he presented them after their afternoon walk with Sarah the day before, was so much better than he had expected. So they spent the rest of the day in oversized (at least for Sarah, theirs were a bit smug around shoulders and thighs respectively) onesies, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate. 

Without doubt, Bucky’s favourite place in the world was their living room couch. 

Before the adults went to bed, they prepared the living room. Bucky had, after Natasha’s introduction, made a Pinterest board about Christmas Morning and how to get children to believe in Santa.    
Steve had laughed at first, but after they were finished, he couldn’t hide his joy any more than Bucky could. The living room looked like a Winter Wonderland. 

So while they laid in bed, wrapped up in each other’s arms, Bucky looked forward for Sarah to find it.

Thanks to their enhanced hearing, they immediately noticed when Sarah was awake and started to talk to her teddy. 

With a grin Bucky stretched his head until he could look at Steve. “I think our private cuddle time is officially over.” 

“We could always try to stay as quiet as possible and see if she notices?”   
Bucky laughed. “She has your appetite,” he answered with a smirk. “There’s no way she’ll stay in bed for more than five minutes without demanding breakfast.” 

Steve mumbled something that sounded like he didn’t agree, but he rolled out of bed nevertheless. 

Staying in bed half a minute longer, allowed Bucky to take in the sight of Steve, just in flannel pants, his beautiful back and the ridiculous shoulder-waist ratio on display. Bucky knew he got very lucky. 

But then Steve left their bedroom to go and get Sarah and took his spectacular back with him. Without Steve’s warmth next to him in bed as well as his physique to look at, there was not much reason left for Bucky to stay in bed. So he got up as well and followed him into Sarah’s room. 

“Good Morning, princess,” Steve said as he bent over one side of the crib to take Sarah out. “Did you have good dreams?” 

Their little one nodded in excitement and pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s cheek. 

When she spotted Bucky standing in the doorway, she reached out with her little hands. “Papa!” 

Bucky stepped forward to take her from Steve. “Hey there, babydoll.” He patiently waited for his kiss on the cheek while Steve grimaced. 

“I guess we know who the favourite is.” 

Bucky laughed but shifted Sarah in his arms so he had one of them free to wrap around Steve’s waist. “You’d love me too, for making breakfast first thing in the morning.”   
With a sigh, Steve melted into the embrace, wrapping his arms around Bucky and Sarah as best as he could. “I love you for more than just your breakfast making skills.” 

Grinning, Bucky turned his focus back to the little one in his arms. Even though she should have been used to her dads squishing her in between them when they group-hugged, she got annoyed pretty fast. “How about we see if Santa came by last night?” 

Bucky wasn’t sure who’s eyes shone brighter with excitement; Sarah, whom they had told about Santa and Christmas and presents repeatedly over the last month to hype her for the festivities, or Steve, a grown-ass man, who shouldn’t expect presents anyway.    
You know, because of their promise not to buy each other presents. 

Well, at least their ‘get Sarah exited’-plan had worked. 

With a squeal she wriggled in Bucky’s arms, a sure sign that she wanted to be let down and walk herself (it was still wobbly and she loved to be carried around, but she was hella fast). Steve and Bucky were hot on her heels because leaving her unsupervised ever since she started to make her way around the apartment was just generally a bad idea. 

“Oh my God, princess,” Steve called out to her when she went to the kitchen rather than to the living room. “I think Santa really came by last night.” 

(Bucky was only about 75% sure that the excitement in Steve’s voice was exaggerated.) 

He watched as Steve kneeled down to show Sarah Santa’s footprints. 

It was one of the ideas Bucky found on Pinterest: they had put slippers down and then dusted powdered sugar over them. It looked as if someone had carried (heat-resistant) snow into their living room. 

Sarah was fascinated. She examined every single footprint until she had made her way to the tree they put up earlier that month. 

Next to it on the little side table Bucky had gotten for this occasion alone, were Christmas cookies (and crumbles of course) and half a glass of milk.) But other than taking a cookie to munch on it, Sarah ignored it in favour of the tree.    
Ever since they decorated said tree, Sarah spent a lot of time gazing at the ornaments and lights. Right now she was just distracted enough that Steve and Bucky could make their way into the kitchen to cook up some quick breakfast and coffee. 

She was still inspecting the fairy light garland when they came back. 

“So, babydoll, wanna see if any of those presents are for you?”

That caught her attention (she knew what presents were, thank you very much, Avengers) and with much more force than a not-yet-two year old should have, she threw herself into Bucky’s lap.

Within minutes she tore into the wrapping paper, spreading it all over the living room floor. 

Steve tried to collect as much as he could, but he was quickly made to hold on to new toys that simply couldn’t be abandoned right now. 

They had made sure that none of the Avengers would buy (or build) her anything inappropriate, so Steve and Bucky were already aware of most of the presents’ contents. Bucky grinned over the Russian fairy tales that Nat had gifted, because while she wasn’t here, he got to enjoy them with his little girl. 

There were a lot of presents, but Sarah went through them like a champ - it didn’t even take her half an hour and everything was unwrapped. And since there were new toys to play with, she busied herself with those and nibbled on a slice of toast she’d stolen from Steve. 

“That was fast,” Bucky murmured and exchanged a smirk with Steve. “I guess we have to do grown-up Santa now?”   
With a side glance to Sarah, Steve leaned closer. “I like the sound of that.” His voice had dropped a few tones to a sultry whisper, sending a shiver down Bucky’s spine. 

Bucky laughed and planted a kiss on Steve’s lips. “Not what I was talking about, but I like the way you think.” 

It took some manoeuvring, but eventually Bucky succeeded in crawling into the corner behind the Christmas tree - where he hid his presents from Steve. (He had thought about the closet first, but since they regularly stole each other’s clothes, that would have been too easy.)

When Steve spotted the shiny wrapping paper, he let out a relieved sigh. “Thank God, I thought I was the only one breaking out agreement.”   
“You got me a present?” 

With a snort Steve got up and disappeared into Sarah’s room. When he came back he held a present of his own. “Of course I have a present for you, jerk. It’s our first Christmas.” 

This statement warranted a kiss of course. 

“Okay, but mine first, punk.” 

With a huge grin Steve took the box form Bucky. He carefully slipped his fingers under the wrapping and peeled it off without a single tear in the fabric. 

Bucky was impressed. “You know the present is the thing underneath the paper, right?” 

Rolling his eyes, he continued to carefully (and slowly, Bucky was dying from excitement) unwrap the box. 

Steve’s grin seemed to grow larger when he discovered that the paper hid a box and not yet the actual present. (Seriously, how long would he make him wait? Bucky wanted to know if Steve liked it _right_ _now_.) 

“Is this -?” Steve’s eyes grew wide when he discovered the book. He carefully took it out of the box and opened the first page to check the year it was published. “How did you -?” 

Bucky couldn’t help from grinning. “Honestly, me reading Huxley to you while you sketched the scenes was one of the first things that came back to me. It’s not my old copy, but I found it in an antique book store and I thought it would be great. But it’s actually not the real present.” 

With a frown Steve shifted his attention back to the box in front of him. In his excitement he hadn’t noticed the envelope at the bottom. 

“Holy -!” Steve pulled out the papers and spread them in front of him. “How did you get those?” 

Bucky wistfully smiled at the sketches that were spread out on their living room floor. “I had a little help.” 

“But they should be in the archives.” 

With a smirk Bucky took the sketch closest to him in his hand to look at it properly. It was the one Steve did, imagining the two of them as enhanced humans. 

Funny, how things turned out sometimes. 

“I asked Willson to get them for me. You once told me that the Smithsonian has most of your old sketchbooks and wouldn't give them back.” He shrugged and handed the paper over to Steve. 

Steve, who currently looked very stunned. “He stole them?”

“I’m pretty sure Nat did all the stealing, but Sam sent them over from D.C., yes.” 

Laughing, Steve threw his arms around Bucky. “Thank you. This is the best Christmas present ever.” 

Content he wrapped his arms around Steve as well. “I love those sketches. I remember that day, and I think it was when I first realised that I love you.” 

When Sarah came to wedge herself in between them, Bucky caught a glimpse at Steve’s face. There were tears in his eyes. 

“I love you, too, Buck. More than anything,” he whispered back. 

They stayed in their group hug for a while, until it was too much for Sarah and she wanted to return to her new toys. 

“Okay, now mine.” Steve quickly wiped the moisture on his face away before he handed Bucky the large slim present. 

Bucky wasn’t as careful with the wrapping, but neither was he as patient. He knew he would love whatever Steve had gotten him, and he wanted to see it sooner rather than later. 

When he tore the fist stripe away, he was met with the sight of himself; not quite like he looked nowadays, not quite like he had looked back in the day. It was a mixture of both and he was smiling. 

When the rest of the paper was gone, Bucky didn’t know what to say. 

Back before the war had started, he had a picture on his nightstand. It was the first sketch Steve had ever shown him. The two of them stood next to each other, Bucky’s arms around Steve’s scrawny shoulder and both of them with huge smiles. He had treasured it more than any photograph that had ever exited about them. It had been lost during the war when their landlord had emptied their apartment. 

Steve’s stuff, already Captain America, had been put into SSR storage, but Bucky’s had been thrown out. Amongst all the stuff he missed from the past, this picture was one of the more important things. 

But what he held in his hands now wasn’t just a quick sketch; it was a painting, depicting Steve and Bucky in the same pose, not as boys but as men, with smiles as bright as can be and Sarah in between them. 

It was as if Steve had peaked into his head and taken inspiration from what Bucky cherished most - their family. 

Bucky could barely speak when he carefully put the canvas aside to pull Steve into another hug. There were no words he could have said to thank him. 

But Steve understood. Steve always understood him.    
“I thought maybe we could put it one the wall here in the living room? Where we can look at it all day?” 

Bucky could only nod and hugged Steve tighter. 

* * *

The rest of the day they spent as close together as possible. They had an early lunch on their couch, watched more Christmas movies and drank more hot chocolate. 

After her afternoon nap they took Sarah outside with her new sleigh. Steve and Bucky probably had more fun than their little girl, but it was worth it when they came home with pink cheeks and cold fingers. 

Sarah, exhausted from the day’s excitement, went to bed earlier than usual, while the grown ups spent their evening on the couch, half watching a movie, half caught up in lazy kisses. 

It was the perfect Christmas day. 

* * *

The next morning, just as Steve came back in from his morning run in the cold, his phone chimed. 

With a frown he picked up. 

“Merry Christmas, Tony. What’s up?”

Bucky could hear his response clear as day, super soldier hearing and all that. He wasn’t sure why, but it sent a cold shiver down his spine. 

“We have to talk. Can you come to the tower right now?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Tony. Wanna guess what's up?  
> I have had the 3rd chapter nearly done for months now, but never uploaded it. So I hope to upload it by the end of this week. 
> 
> Sending you some late Christmas love. :*


	3. The Best Christmas of All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is uncovered and what they learn is something no one saw coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: In this chapter a few deaths are mentioned. Most of them are natural and to be expected, but two of them are rather violent. They're are not described, but PTSD and depression are mentioned and Suicide is implied.   
> Please be careful when you read this if these things trigger you. With what is going on right now we're all on edge and no story is worth reading if your health is badly affected by it. I marked the worst part with * so please skip it if you don't think you can deal with it right now. 
> 
> Stay safe, people <3

Bucky, Steve and a confused Sarah all arrived at the tower bundled up and in a hurry. With how Tony had sounded on the phone, they were worried that something had happened. Maybe even an Avengers emergency over Christmas. 

Which, in Bucky’s humble opinion, would totally suck. 

But, supportive boyfriend that he was, he tried to reason with Steve. If there was an international emergency that needed the Avengers’ immediate attention, either Tony or the poor fella on Christmas duty at the radio station would have told them. 

As always there were greeted by Jarvis, who today wished them a merry Christmas, which was just another sign that Tony just had been overly dramatic. 

“To you as well, Jarvis. Do you know why Tony wanted us to come here?” Steve asked once the elevator was on its way. 

“I am afraid I am not at liberty to say, Captain.” 

With a sigh Steve pulled Bucky to his side and kissed Sarah’s head. “I just hope I don’t have to go on a mission. Not over Christmas.”

“If there was a mission someone else would have called you. Stark’s not that important,” Bucky answered with a smirk, hoping that Tony was watching the video feed from the elevator security camera. 

There was just enough time for Steve to nod and smile before the elevator doors opened to reveal the common room. 

One look and Bucky was sure: there was no international emergency that needed the Avengers’ attention. 

The room was decorated up to the last corner, including a huge and sparkly Christmas tree and faux snow on the windows. Bucky was also sure he could smell something cooking and there definitely was Christmas music. 

Stark sometimes mixed his priorities up, but even he wouldn’t listen to soft Christmas music if he had the chance to fly around in his Iron Man suit, blasting ACDC. 

“Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes and Cutiepie have arrived,” Jarvis announced when the door behind them closed again and they were left waiting for someone to tell them why they were here at all. 

The announcement had the intended effect, Pepper entered from the kitchen with a bright smile. “What are you guys doing here so soon? I thought we said noon?” 

Out of the corner of his eye Bucky saw the puzzled look on Steve’s face deepen. 

“Merry Christmas,” she greeted them, hugged both men before she reached for Sarah.

It was still strange for Bucky to see her dressed so casually. The first few encounters they had all happened while she was dressed according to her role at Stark Industries. The comfy jeans and soft sweater, while still fancy and pretty, astonished him all the time. 

Bucky let go of Sarah reluctantly. He wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but Stark’s call had worried him and his little princess was always the best method to anchor him to the present. 

“Pepper, what happened?” Steve asked finally, when they were sure that Sarah was secure in Pepper’s arms. 

Now Pepper looked confused, which was a look she didn’t have that often. “What do you mean what happened?” 

Bucky’s worries lessened even more. If Stark hadn’t told Pepper, everything would be all right. Pepper knew everything. (Another aspect of her’s that intimidated Bucky to no end.) 

“Tony called and asked us to come to the Tower,” Steve explained as Pepper led them over to the soft sofas and Sarah’s toys. “It sounded serious. We thought there was an emergency.” 

The crease between her brows deepened. “I have no idea what happened. Jarvis?” she called out to the room, “could you please let Tony know that Steve and Bucky are here?” 

Jarvis gave an affirmative answer and all of them settled down. Pepper left for a few minutes to check on their Christmas feast, and she returned just in time when the elevator door opened to reveal Tony and Natasha. 

Sarah was delighted to see her favourite Aunt and made her way over to Nat on quick and wobbly legs. 

While Nat talked to Sarah in quick Russian, Tony came over to them. He wrapped an arm around Pepper and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. 

“Tony, why did you want us to come over?” Steve got right to the point. 

“Hello to you too, Capsicle,” he replied with a sigh. 

“Tony.” Steve used his best ‘Captain America is disappointed’ face/Voice combination on Stark and he actually seemed to shrink a little bit. 

“C’mon, Stark. You worried the big guy here,” Bucky added, hoping to light the mood. Whatever it was, it wasn’t an emergency and Bucky wouldn’t let it ruin his first Christmas with Sarah and Steve. 

Stark sighed again and rubbed his eyes. He looked not as tired as usual (Bucky briefly wondered what Pepper had promised to get him to sleep for at least a few hours before their Christmas feast) but he looked worried. As if there was something he wasn’t able to fix with one of his fancy tools. “Are you okay with Pepper looking after Sarah for a few minutes? I need to show you something.” 

Before Steve could say anything that made the situation even more tense, Bucky stepped in. “Sure. Pepper’s good with her, so why should we worry about it?” 

Nat forced them to move to the seating area where usually movie nights happened, while Pepper took Sarah to play with her toys on the floor. 

Tony placed a device on the coffee table, and a hologram popped up. It showed pictures of two women, one in her eighties, if Bucky had to guess, the other one young enough to still be in school. 

“Who are they?” Steve asked, his voice taking on the tone of his Captain persona. No doubt he thought this was somehow mission related. 

Natasha pointed to the picture of the older woman. “This is Maria Fisher, a retired kindergarten teacher from Brooklyn. She’s currently living in a retirement home in Manhattan.

Bucky was confused. “How is this of interest for us?” 

Nat sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. If Bucky wouldn’t know better he’d say she was nervous, something he had never seen in her before.    
Tony interrupted her before she could give an answer. “We did something you asked us not to do.”

“Which is?” 

“We looked into Sarah’s heritage.” 

For a moment everything was absolutely silent. Bucky knew that there should have been Christmas music in the background still, but it didn’t register. 

Out of nowhere he remembered how a grenade had exploded right next to his ear when they stormed a HYDRA facility in ‘44. There too had been seconds where everything had been dead silent before the explosion registered and the insistent ringing haunted his hearing for the next couple of days. 

It had impacted his hearing, which also impacted his ability to assess threads. Steve had refused to move from his side while they waited behind enemy lines for the ringing to stop.    
For some silly reason he expected the ringing to start again soon. His body tensed up, aware that without his hearing he would be incapable to hear if a threat approached from behind. He unconsciously reached for Steve to make sure he was still next to him.

When Bucky felt the hard muscle of Steve’s jean-clad thigh beneath his fingers, he breathed out in relief. As long as Steve was next to him they both would be safe. 

The background Christmas’ music finally made its way back to his conscious and the only ringing he heard were the bells that accompanied the song. 

Bucky could ever hear Sarah’s babbling from the other side of the room. In the back of his mind something registered that she was trying to tell Pepper that Santa had visited.    
“Tony, we had a reason why we didn’t want to know.” 

Stark had the decency to look uncomfortable. “I know. It’s not that we actively looked into it. It’s more like-” He stopped himself to scratch his beard, obviously thinking about what to say. “It just happened.”

Steve’s answering laugh was not the happy kind. “Oh, so it just happened? How does something like this just happen?”

At this part Natasha took over. 

“I like to think that, since it’s part of our respective jobs, to have as much knowledge as possible about everything of interest, it’s something we do instinctively. You’re soldiers first, so your minds are trained to devise strategies, find advantage points in battle, to fight. Tony is a scientist, he has to know what he’s working with in order to make it work. And me, I’m a spy. I survive on information about others.” 

“That still does  _ not  _ explain why you did something we asked you not to do,” Steve growled. “How about instead of thinking as scientists and spies, you think as friends who honour what they promised their friends?” 

Underneath his finger tips, Bucky felt Steve stiffen in his seat. He knew he was angry - hell, Bucky himself was angry - but there was nothing they could do. For a short instance he thought that Steve would jump up and leave the room, but as Bucky tightened his grip to keep him on the couch, he relaxed slightly.    
Bucky was afraid of the truth as well, but he knew that running away would only move this discussion to a later point. Better to get it over with now, so that they could return to their cozy apartment and spent the holidays as a family.    
“Steve, if you’re honest with yourself, you have to admit that the reason why you don’t want to know where Sarah’s coming from is, that you’re afraid of the answer. You both would be too honourable to refuse any living relatives the right to see Sarah. And what if they want to take her away?” Nat paused with pointed looks, first at Steve and then at Bucky. “The reason why neither of you wanted to look into this is that you’re afraid you will lose Sarah over the result.”

Bucky had to admit that she was right. He knew that all of his family was dead. He knew that all that he had now was the greatest gift he had ever received and that he would do everything in his power to not lose his newfound family again. 

It was unfair to keep Sarah from any close relatives that could have been looking for her, but if it meant that he and Steve could love and cherish her for the rest of their lives, then he would bear that spot on his conscience without a single word. 

“If we lose her, you lose her as well, Natasha.” Steve’s flat voice made it impossible to hide his anger over their friends' actions. 

Natasha smirked, which was undoubtedly inappropriate for the situation. “As if I would let that happen. When Tony told me what he found, we promised not to tell you anything in case it’s bad news.”

“In case you didn’t understand: we’re telling you because we think it’s good news,” Tony added. 

Bucky sighed. Whatever they thought qualified as good news, he wanted to get it over with. “Tell us already,” he demanded, trying to look as menacing as possible. 

Sitting on Tony Stark’s fancy couch with a knot of anger and worry in his stomach was not how he pictured he would spend his first Christmas. 

For a second he thought that maybe Steve’s impulse to flee this conversation had been a good idea. They could be back home in about forty minutes, change into their matching onesies, and spend the rest of the day alone, just the three of them. 

Nat nodded before she placed a file on the coffee table. “Before we come to the important point, you need the background information. Otherwise it wouldn’t make sense.” She waited a second to make sure they were okay with it before she asked: “How much do you know of the life of Rebecca Proctor, neé Barnes?” She directed the question at Bucky, who was surprised at the direction this was taking.    
“Not much personal stuff,” he answered. “Steve told me what he found out when he came back. I know she married, had children, buried our parents and caused some trouble in the neighbourhood.”

Natasha opened the file to read out the information. “I looked into her a bit and identified a few people that seemed to have been close to her. One of them Maria Fisher. The people I talked to identified her as the best friend of the late Rebecca Proctor. So I went to speak to her a couple of days ago at the retirement home.

“She appeared to be very clear in the head for her age, which the personal at the home confirmed, so I think we can treat her information as correct. She had a lot to tell, and she told me you would be very welcome to exchange stories with her about Mrs. Proctor.” 

Bucky nodded even though he was confused. He had never thought to look for friends of Rebecca to get information of Becca’s life. Since he had left for the war when she had still been pretty young, he wouldn’t even have known where to start.    
With a look to Sarah he thought that, maybe this Mrs. Fisher was someone worth talking to. He would love to know more about his family. He would love to hear stories about Becca and his parents that he could then share with Sarah himself. 

“As for now, I think the basic information should be enough to clear up the circumstances. Rebecca Barnes married Robert Proctor, a decorated soldier, in 1948. In the following year both her parents passed away due to natural causes.” 

Bucky knew as much, he had read the file himself, so he urged Natasha to continue. 

“What can’t be taken from the files is that her mother’s health declined rapidly after the war, supposedly because of the grief for her son, who was killed in action.” She looked up from her notes to take a look at Bucky. 

He knew his features were neutral - he knew how to keep his face from showing emotion - so she continued. 

The warm hand that wrapped around his, and that belonged to the only person who knew that his poker face hid the sadness he felt for his mother’s death, made it slightly less bearable. 

“According to Mrs. Fisher, the marriage between George Barnes and his wife had been loving, and after his wife passed, his health declined rapidly. Apparently Mrs. Proctor told her that he died in his sleep and they found him with a smile on his face.”

Bucky didn’t remember much of his early life, but he knew that his parents had been happy with each other. There had been more than one man who hit his wife when he was angry or drunk, or that stepped out with other women, but he couldn’t remember his dad doing something like this. Instead there were brief images of kisses and laughter, and smiles over the dinner table. 

Unaware of the thoughts that raced through Bucky’s mind, Natasha continued. “George James Proctor, first son of Robert and Rebecca, was Born in January 1950. After school he attended university for a degree in engineering, but was drafted through the draft lottery in 1969. He was killed in action in 1974.” 

Natasha paused again, this time to ruffle through the papers. “This is according to the official documents. From Mrs. Fisher we learned that George Proctor was against the Vietnam War, even attended protests before he was drafted, but turned out to be a remarkable soldier. He rose to the ranks fast and was posthumously awarded the rank of First Lieutenant.

“As a result to his death, Alexander Steven Proctor, born in September 1957, tried to enlist as well. He failed and instead attended trade school. He worked at a bank until 1980, when he successfully enlisted during the first Iraq war. According to Mrs. Fisher this was still to follow in the footsteps of his older brother, father and uncle.”   


Hearing this, Bucky closed his hand a bit tighter around Steve’s. He hadn’t gone to war of his own decision. If it were for him, he would have never left Steve or his family behind. But they had drafted him, like so many other unfortunate souls.

Unlike Steve he wasn’t keen to fight for his country. He did it, because they wanted him to, and because they put a gun in his hand, but if it had been his choice, he would have stayed in Brooklyn. 

While he fought however, he liked to tell himself that Steve had been right. They were fighting to keep the people at home safe, to make sure the fighting would stop. 

It made him sick that it cost him so much of his family and that his beloved little sister had to grief for her children. 

“He was medically discharged in 1985 and resumed his position at the bank.”

That, at least, was good news. 

“If we continue with the official records, he died in 1991, of asphyxiation.”

Bucky nodded. Until now, not a lot of things had been new to him. Those things were briefly mentioned in Becca’s file Steve had shown him earlier that year. 

* Natasha continued. “What can’t be taken from this file is, that apparently, he suffered from PTSD and depression, which is likely since the provision of mental health services back then was even worse than it is now. Mrs. Fisher told us that he poisoned himself, knowingly or unknowingly.”

The words rung loud in the huge room. 

Even though Natasha said they didn’t know for sure - his nephew had killed himself. Bucky knew it. He knew the horrors of war, what it felt like to kill and lose people through the killer on the other side, and how it haunted the mind with the thought that maybe - just maybe - it was easier to just end it. To not have to think anymore. 

To make the pain stop. 

Bucky had found his anchor, his family that kept him sane and that silenced the thought when they came. 

Alexander didn’t have this and Bucky hurt for him. 

Both of Rebecca’s children - dying such violent deaths. 

* “Could you please jump to the interesting part?” Tony asked and interrupted Bucky’s thoughts. 

He shot a quick look to Steve, who silently sat at his side and held his hand. He looked worried, but smiled encouragingly. 

“Okay,” Nat relented and closed the file. “While Alexander Proctor worked at the bank, so did a woman named Katherine Howe. They had a brief affair in 1991, and, when Alexander died later that year, Miss Howe was pregnant.

“She gave birth in 1992 to a girl, Alexandra Howe. I looked up her birth record and there is no father listed. But from Mrs. Fishers account and her name, we can assume that she is the daughter of Alexander Proctor and therefore the granddaughter of Rebecca.” 

This was definitely new information. 

Of course with no father listed, there was no official connection to the Barnes/Proctor family, so Steve wouldn’t have found that bit of information when he looked into Becca’s life. And since Bucky decided not to search any further, he never had stumbled upon this bit of information either. 

But a granddaughter born in the early nineties meant that she was still young.

“Becca’s granddaughter could still be alive,” Steve voiced Bucky’s thoughts in a quiet whisper next to him. 

Bucky was shocked. He had been back in the world for nearly a year now, and there could be a young woman out there, related to him, that he never made the effort to find. 

“We learned from Mrs. Fisher that, while Miss Howe worked, Alexandra stayed with her grandparents. Miss Howe married a few years later and moved out of the city, so they lost contact briefly, since the new husband didn’t want Alexandra to have contact with her late father’s parents.

“Mrs. Warwick, neé Howe, died in 2007 of cancer, and for the same year, school records for a Alexandra Warwick appear in the system for Brooklyn. It is safe to say that Mrs. Fisher is correct when she says that the young Miss Warwick returned to live with her paternal grandmother. We don’t have official statements, but Mrs. Fisher blamed the move on abuse Alexandra suffered under her step-father’s guardianship.”

Steve must have felt Bucky tense up, because he turned towards him to wrap an arm around his shoulders. “You okay?” he whispered so that only Bucky could hear it. 

Natasha, who at least noticed their change in posture, halted her monologue long enough for Bucky to nod. 

“When Mrs. Proctor died in 2011, she disappeared from the radar. Miss Warwick had worked as a waitress in a Brooklyn club for a while the year before, but there are no official documents on her since then. From Mrs. Fisher we learned that she visited her a couple of times after Rebecca died, but fell in with a bad crowd.”

Natasha stopped and laid back in her chair, with a quick nod to Tony. 

“Okay, so this is my part, then,” he said and reactivated the hologram screen that had turned itself off after Natasha had spoken for a while.    
“During a routine test with Mr. Barnes over there, Bruce collected a blood sample. The result was added to the server only Bruce and I, and I guess Miss Romanoff over there, can access. For security reasons, obviously. Most of it is Avengers’ related stuff, research and such, medical files that we don’t want Shield to have-” He stopped himself when his eyes landed on Bucky. 

“Anyway, we also have the medical record for Sarah. You remember how everyone got sick after that one mission in September, but how none of us could go to regular doctors because of security clearance?”

Bucky and Steve nodded. 

“Right, so you had Bruce take a blood sample from Sarah as well, just to make sure she hadn’t caught it as well. I would like to remind you of Capsicle’s near death experience when our cutiepie cried a little bit about the needle -”

“Stark!” Bucky bellowed to get him to shut up. In combination with his murder glare it worked beautifully. “Please get to the point.” 

“Ah, yes, okay.” Tony cleared his throat and waved his hand a couple of times in front of the hologram. It changed to something that was too scientific for either Bucky or Steve to understand at the first glance. “In October I ran some tests with the data in our system when I noticed that we had a sample of Sarah’s DNA. I remembered that Pep had told me how fascinating she found it that Sarah looked both like Steve and Bucky and that, if she didn’t know better, she could have sworn she was biologically yours. As a joke I ran some DNA tests and the Avuncular DNA test between our favourite murder bot and our favourite baby came back positive.” He paused. “98% positive.”

Steve regained the ability to speak first. “So what does that mean?” 

Natasha thankfully explained. “An avuncular DNA test determined the relationship to an uncle or aunt. Stark, with Bruce’s help, altered the test enough to determine it by another degree.”

Bucky still wasn’t sure if he understood. But then again maybe all the Christmas cookies he had stuffed into him over the past weeks made his brain slow. 

Yes, that must have been it. 

When neither he nor Steve answered, Natasha spoke up again. 

“So, what we’re trying to say is that Sarah is Alexandra Warwick’s daughter, and therefore a blood relative of Bucky.”

Bucky was floored. Sarah was his great-grand-niece, if something like this existed. She was Becca’s great-granddaughter, the last tie to his family, that he lost when Hydra took him. 

His gaze wandered to her, where she played with one of her new toys under Pepper’s supervision. 

She was his. 

It wasn’t just that he loved her and thought of her as family because she belonged to Steve as much as he did. There was another connection between them, one that no one could ever take away from him. 

Not Hydra, no government, not even he himself. 

With that, he started to cry. 

* * *

After the events of the day, they decided to spend the night at the tower. 

It had taken them a few hours after lunch to go through the file Nat had created. They learned a lot about the part of Bucky’s family he never met in person.    
There hadn’t been much more on Alexandra than what Natasha had already told them, but both she and Tony promised to keep an eye open. 

Because if she was out there somewhere, Bucky wanted to meet her. He wanted her to be a part of his and her daughter’s life. 

Sarah had stayed on his lap during lunch and afterwards. He hadn’t been able to let go of her. Hell, he barely had been able to let go of Steve’s hand. It made eating a bit difficult, but it was well worth it.

After Sarah was asleep, Bucky and Steve decided to stay in their room and not to join the others. Instead of watching Christmas movies, Bucky was wrapped up in Steve’s arms on the wide bed, the warmth from Steve’s skin slowly seeping into his. 

“So, Sarah Barnes then?” Steve asked eventually. Bucky knew he tried his hardest to sound happy for him, but a little tremor betrayed Steve. 

Bucky smiled and shifted closer to the warm body next to his. “Sounds good,” he said with a smirk. “But you know what sounds better?” 

Steve’s hand stopped wandering over his arm for a while. When Bucky turned his head to take a look at his face, he found blue eyes fixated on him. 

“What?” Steve asked after another minute had passed. 

Bucky rolled over so he was above Steve, his weight resting on his forearms. He placed a kiss on Steve’s lips. “I like the sound of Sarah Rogers-Barnes.” 

Steve’s lips turned into an honest smile, one of those that were reserved for Bucky and that made his eyes shine. “Rogers-Barnes, huh?”

Bucky nodded and placed a kiss on Steve’s chin. 

“I like the sound of that,” Steve announced, his arms wrapping around Bucky's chest to pull him closer. 

Knowing that Steve could carry his weight, Bucky let himself fall into the embrace and closed his lips over Steve’s. 

It was slow paced, gentle kisses and warm touches and when they eventually rested under the covers, naked and sated and as close to each other as they could be, they watched the snowflakes that had started to fall. 

“You think we can still go skating now that it’s after Christmas?” Steve asked, breath tickling Bucky’s nose. 

He grinned. “I’m sure there will still be a few rinks open.” 

“Yeah, but will it count as a Christmas date?” 

With a faint laugh and another kiss they closed their eyes. 

The new year was nearly here and with the promises they made to each other, their little family protected and the love between them, it would be the best year yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, the shocking (not so unexpected revelation) and love.   
> I hope you liked it.

**Author's Note:**

> I am back!!!   
> As promised here is the first sequel. 
> 
> Want to take a guess what Bucky's present's going to be? 
> 
> Have a lovely Christmas everyone. I hope you get to enjoy it with your loved ones.


End file.
